Sunday, October 5, 2008

Dissolution of Anger Through ManLove



So I'm not in a good mood. My brother was really angry with me, and now he's not, I guess; one of my best friends is upset with me, which sucks balls; and I keep pissing off people by opening my mouth. It hasn't been the best of times, let's just say. The cure for my ills? ManLove, of course.


Ah, nothing like one man helping out a fellow man in the best way possible. Sharing is caring, kids.

But anyways, back to the shit that went down this weekend. My brother is clearly frustrated with a number of things going on in his life right now and it's no big deal that he sort of blew up at me this morning. Honestly, he's under a lot of stress, he put himself in a bad position that is difficult to get out of, and we were talking ideology last night. That's never a good combination. It was about relationships et al: the main point we kept returning to was the difference in approach a few of us had when it came to pursuing women. Keith and Jon were of one mind, and Biggie and I were of another. Keith and Jon felt risk-taking was necessary and that in order to win the game, you had to play the game. Biggie and I are, naturally, cowards and don't like risk-taking; we also don't like that it's a game (which seems weird, really) and refuse, at times, to play it.

Now, why are relationships games? Doesn't it seem a little weird to say "I'm going to find the love of my life by playing a game." I would like to think that the person whom I spend the rest of life with (assuming someone can put up with me for an extended period of time) would not be found in some game, with trivial rules and what not. I'd like to think that two adults sharing each other's company would stem from meaningful interaction as opposed to "gaming." But maybe that's just me, and maybe I'm really just trying to find a new name, while keeping the same characteristics - I'm not really sure. It's difficult to call a spade a spade when you're not actually sure if it's a spade. Existential shit, right there.

Maybe it's all a game and I just don't want to play it; maybe I'm frustrated that in order to frequently find meaningful (maybe...) interaction of this nature, I have to play a game. It seems odd to say that to find meaningful interaction of a particularly refined nature, I have to play a game. At that point, is it really meaningful interaction, or do we simply enter another game, followed by another, and so on? Is it all just games? Do we ever find real meaningful interaction, outside the context of a game? Probably not, and maybe that's what really upsets me: not that it's a game, or that I have to play it, or that I might have to take risks that I'm normally opposed to. Maybe it's that there can never not be a game, and I'll just have to keep on playing them to get by and to get laid. Does this depress anyone else?

The depressing inevitability that it's all a game, and can never change, is reminiscent of today's political system: to win and enact meaningful change you have to play a game that is diametrically at odds with enacting meaningful change. So, if you get elected, can you really enact meaningful change? Or are you already deep in the system, unable to do that which you once thought was possible?

Who cares. On to the second problem: my best friend being mad at me. So, best friend and I are, to be fair, at opposite ends of the political spectrum, and this is fine. In fact, it's healthy; it often breeds discussion as opposed to the normal reiteration of beliefs you find among groups with similar political views. But sometimes, best friend and I go at each other over stupid things (i.e. political shit) that really doesn't matter, and that's not good. The issue today? Well, I said George Washington (and other Founding Father buddies) needed to be examined in light of their slaveholding natures and that we shouldn't simply deify them straightaway because of other things they did. This didn't sit well with best friend and he said some things that weren't cool (even though I totally understand where he's coming from). So what now? I don't know. We'll probably forget about it, have lunch, do sexy time, and forget it about. But what if we don't?

...

I suppose an easy way out of all this contextual existential bullshit is to just say "fuck it" and do what you want: kill babies, sleep with random women, and make fun of old people - what else are you gonna do? Play the game? There's probably a third option, but in these situations it usually requires some sort of combination of the two systems, which is difficult and often untenable. And besides, third party...er, third option people get ridiculed and never have sex, so, you know, do what you want, I guess.

So what did all this prove? Nothing, as usual. None of this shit ever does. People write books; people read them; people think they've learned something. But honestly, they never do - no one ever does. We eat, shit, sometimes sleep, and occasionally we get laid. That's about it. Thinking, changing, learning...those are for sissies and wimps. Sigh...it sucks to be a sissie and a wimp.

9 erotic poetry prompts:

Unknown October 6, 2008 at 12:25 AM  

Ha

Learning you are Young one.

0. Get on AIM :)

1. What are your goals?
2. What are your friends goals?
3. Does your path to the goal match your friends?
4. Does it need to?
5. Can you handle ridicule?
6. What makes a friend?

Anonymous,  October 6, 2008 at 8:14 AM  

OMG STFU U NOOB!

Now that that's out of the way, allow me to say that if you are unhappy with the game analogy to relationships, you can think of them in other ways that are applicable. Stop thinking of them as a "game" that you have to "play" to win. The analogy seems to have blinded you. Do not confuse anger at the analogy with anger at relationships. Relationships are not "games". Rather, we sometimes like to think of them in terms like that. We like to apply "game" theory to lots of things. That does not mean that such things are "games" because they can be analogized to them. If you do not like the fact that relationships require work, then on some level you do not like some of the fundamental principles of the universe, as all things require work done to cause change. You can analogize this "work" to "playing", but if that trivializes it in your mind, perhaps you should not make that comparison.

The Filthy Logician October 6, 2008 at 9:15 AM  

Ah. My anger was at neither the analogy nor the relationships, but rather the whole weekend, and the people getting upset and frustrated with me, and other such bullshit. But I don't think I made that very clear. Eh, c'est la vie.

Steven Philippi October 6, 2008 at 1:34 PM  

http://andrightlyso.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/Manlove.jpg

You might like this.

Steven Philippi October 6, 2008 at 1:59 PM  

http://hosting03.imagecross.com/myspace-image-upload-2/7813a_cutie_man_love.gif

You need this too. :D

Anonymous,  October 6, 2008 at 6:14 PM  

Perhaps anger was the wrong word but frustration certainly works. Either way, what I was merely trying to communicate earlier was simply put in that old adage about forests and trees and shit. You seem convinced in using the analogy of the "game". Move on from that one. Don't think of it in those terms.

The Filthy Logician October 6, 2008 at 8:48 PM  

Philippi: your gayness comes in and saves the day. Brilliant. And ben, you're right. I should stop labeling shit and just do it.

Clifton October 10, 2008 at 2:13 AM  

I somehow had not applied our discussion about the dating "game" to politics yet, but you have a fantastic point. Seriously... you can't just look at your ballot and pick a candidate you're comfortable with. You can't say "I'm voting for xxxx" without having to defend your selection on innumerable fronts. "Well, xxxx is against yyyy because he is a member of the ZZZZ party. How do you feel about THAT?" It's all a game, and politics is (are?) a huge sham.

But yes. I'm cowardly, and lazy, and still continue to hope that the girl of my dreams will crash through my wall after losing control of her car on a freak patch of black ice while driving entirely too fast through the condo complex, and we'll instantly fall in love, poorly-written-movie style.

The Filthy Logician October 10, 2008 at 7:54 AM  

i don't know about you, Biggie, but I'm hoping I'll fall in love, WELL-written movie style.

:)