Should We Be Suspicious?

So after telling the American people for 18 months that the economy was "sound" and that the housing crisis wouldn't last past December; after claiming that economic growth would be rising by the end of the year; after ignoring the pleas of economic experts the world over: now Henry Paulson wants us to give him three things: unbelievable and unprecedented power, absolute and immovable immunity, and a SHITLOAD of money. Even if we don't give him these things, he's still taking our firstborn child. That's not negotiable.

My first reaction after hearing these demands? Admiral Ackbar!

Clearly, Paulson wants to formalize his control over the nation's economy, which would grant him control over the world economy, and thus the world. He'll officially adopt the title Caesar Little Dick at a later date, to be announced. George Bush will assume he's still President of the Earth, and Dick Cheney will finally murder him, outright, something he's clearly wanted to do for years. When the Republican party forced him to play second fiddle to "The Great Decider," he wasn't smiling. So once patricide is committed and Paulson assumes command, we'll be left to wonder why we didn't heed the warning...oh Ackbar. Here's a moral tribute to you, the modern Oracle at Delphi:

Thank you, Ackbar. Hopefully, we heed your prescient warnings.